Thursday 12 August 2010

The Bob Blog


We decided that it was time the wee fella had a dog. A friend of a friend's dog just had a litter  of 14 and was looking for a good home for them. Don't know if we comply with the elfin safety regulations for a "good home" but we'll give it a damn good try.

The pups are too young to be separated from their mother just yet, but because we are GOOD friends of a friend we got first pick.

When we walked in to the large kennel housing the doggy family, mum was feeding. I didn't know whether to look away or throw water over her screaming - NOooo, and she has 8 breasts!

(For those of you who are crap at irony - I read an article recently about a breast-feeding woman who had water thrown over her by an arsehole who  - well, god only knows why these fuckwits behave the way they do.)

Anywho, the pups were a mass of writhing fur, latching on to a swollen teat while a brother/ sister tried to push it away. The wee fella looked at me and said, 'That looks cute and wrong all at the same time.'



The mummy labrador had 4 golden pups and 10 black ones. The wee fella decided he wanted a golden boy - dog is the correct term I believe - eeesh look at me, not even a dog owner yet and I know all the lingo.

The wee fella picked one of the livelier boys - see above - and is calling him Bob. Awwww.

While we wait for the pup, sorry Bob to open his eyes, grow a little more and get all his jags we have to come up with a Kennel Club name so that his pedigree can be registered. For those of you not in the know - excuse me while I act all superior - get me, doggy expert. I'll be on Dog Whisperer next week - the Kennel Club name has to be long-winded and dramatic. Like Roberto Dawnbreaker Persimmon Badinage. Or Lilly Shuttlebucket Apollo. Or perhaps even Sylvester Scraggyballs Breezebutt.

I'm struggling to pick one. I need something that suggests this dog is fun, lively, caring, comes from a good home and will never hump the legs of innocent bystanders. 

Choices, choices...anybody got a good idea for Bob's Kennel Club name?

14 comments:

  1. Sir Robert of Merrymaking Samaritans, no make that Sir neutered Robert of Merrymaking Samaritans.

    I love Goldens. I had one that weighed more than me and dragged me all over creation. B.J.

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  2. Brilliant.

    Let me know if you need any tips.

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  3. i, too, found the love of my life when a friend had an 'oops' litter. his name was beauregard and spoke french. might i throw a name out there: Robespierre, Lord of the Flying Golden Boys...aka Bob...p.s. hope he's not a Marley..for your mental health! Beau was a bit of a devil in his younger years! t

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  4. Marley, Thea - how about we merge your two suggestions into Robespierre of the Flying Samaritans. Do you guys have similar conventions when it comes to dog names?

    Ricky, I need tips. What have you got?

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  5. i didn't mean 'our' marley - i meant that movie about the housewrecking dog, Marley (Marley and Me) however, i like your blend suggestion. we only have similar conventions for dog names when they are pure bred. as your pup seems to be.

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  6. Aw - he's so cute, Michael. Great addition to your family - look forward to some more Bob blogs.

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  7. Hey Rosemary, I'll certainly be talking about Bob as he grows up. Or Boab, as we have to say in Ayrshire. I just hope I don't turn into a doggy bore.

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  8. The temptation to respond to that last sentence was SOOOOO strong, but I resisted.

    I like the idea of Robert plus an anagram of Malone followed by a massively pretentious ancestral home name followed by a homophonic echo. And if you're going to have Robespierre in there, you have to have Danton, too. That'll be five quid.

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  9. Happy to pay you Bill, just as soon as I work out what the feck you were saying.

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  10. Your bloody comprehension failures are costing me a fortune.

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  11. Ok, a tip.

    Erm.......Never eat yellow snow.

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  12. Whits Boab's father and mothers Kennel Club names. It is the "norm" to put a wee bit of daddies name.

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  13. Cannae mind, Rab. we're going for mix of the two homes he's going to be staying in.

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  14. Rab is a guid Scottish name, and I have had many a dug ca'ed eftur me.

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